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Choosing the Right Legal Help for Your Divorce

A couple weeks ago, a client came in for a second opinion. He had hired a lawyer six weeks prior and wasn't even sure if his legal team had filed a petition to divorce. He couldn't get a straight answer from anyone in his attorney's office about the status of his case.

Honestly, nothing frustrates me more than lawyers who don't do their job and don't communicate with their clients. If you want to avoid finding yourself in a similar situation, there are steps you can take.

Here's my best advice on how to choose the right legal help for your divorce.

Be sure that an attorney is the right fit

You have options in divorce; always remember that. Most states allow for pro se divorce, meaning individuals can represent themselves in their divorce. You can also engage the services of a mediator, which can keep costs down significantly and keep your divorce out of the courts. Or, you can work with a legal coach who can help you draft documents, provide legal guidance, and even negotiate and implement a legal strategy.

Related: Tips for Getting Your Spouse on Board with Mediation

Check up on their tech

To ensure the best outcome, you must be an active participant in your divorce. That means checking up on your attorney and following along on the progress of your case. As you interview attorneys, ask if their office uses technology like Clio, MyCase, or another case management software that you can log in to message your attorney, review your filed documents, and track the status of your case.

Related: 10+ (Non-Legal) Essential Apps to Rely on While Uncoupling

Get a handle on communication preferences

As you interview legal help, the only way you'll know how frequently you'll connect with your representation, and via what medium, is to ask.

If you're an email junkie and detest interaction by phone (or vice versa), make that clear. If you want regular face-to-face meetings to discuss your case, video conferencing, or messaging through a platform that is extra secure, make that clear.

Lay out your expectations for communication upfront. If the legal help you're interviewing pushes back or refuses to set the type of communication schedule you want, you can always walk out the door and find someone else who is on the same page or who is willing to get on it.

Remember: this is your divorce. You get to be picky about who helps you through it and how often you check in with your legal help.

Quick tip: Find out if your lawyer has staff (preferably a trained paralegal). You can cut down significantly on fees by forming a relationship with team members who bill at a lower hourly rate.

Understand their plan to get you to the finish line (before you sign the dotted line)

Even in an initial meeting, after you walk an attorney through your case, they should have at least a rough plan for how they'll get you to the divorce outcome you seek.

If they don't bring up strategy, you should. Some lawyers run to court for every little thing in a divorce. If that does or doesn't feel right to you, ask how often they typically find themselves in court during the divorce process.

Are you anticipating a heated child custody battle? Ask your lawyer how they've helped clients reach an acceptable outcome when they've worked in similar situations in the past.

Quick tip: Your divorce strategy might change, and that's ok. But if your lawyer is known for only one type of practice (e.g., "most aggressive lawyer in town"), they may be good in court, but that doesn't necessarily make for cost-effective, strategic representation.

Related: This Is Why You Need a Strategy for Your Divorce

Trust your instincts

I really can't emphasize this enough. If everything about an attorney sounds good but it still doesn't feel right, keep looking. You have to trust your gut. Remember, this process is a marathon, not a sprint. You're going to be sharing more of yourself with your lawyer – emotions, finances, ambitions – than you probably have with anyone in a long time.

You don't need to be best buds with your attorney, but you are going to be spending a lot of time together and will be putting an incredible amount of trust in them, so you need to like them. A rushed decision could cost you in more ways than just your pocketbook.