10 Gifts for Someone Going through Divorce

• Spa day gift certificate
• Symbolic sapling
• Coloring cure
• Dammit doll
• Rage room gift certificate
• Food gift card
• Funny divorce gift
• Movie membership
• Monthly self-care subscription
• Vacation
• Acts of service
• References

People often ask, “How do I support a friend during a divorce?” or, “How do I help a friend who is separating from their partner?” While there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, there are many ways to provide divorce support. Even a small gift can help.

It’s hard to watch someone you care about suffer through a divorce. Naturally, you want to reach out, to soothe them, to somehow shield them from their grief and pain. You can’t fix the situation or bear their burden for them, but you can show your support and love with a token of cheer or help, large or small.

The psychological benefits of a supportive gift

When you give a gift, you communicate a sentiment of support and validation to the recipient. This is especially true if you give a gift when the recipient is going through a time of emotional distress, like divorce.

Without saying it outright, a gift to your divorcing friend says, “I see you. As you struggle with this difficult life event, I want you to know you have my support and understanding.”

But that’s not all. Even the smallest gift can help lift the divorcing person’s mood because, after all, it really is the thought that counts. Your gift can trigger a sense of happiness, pleasant anticipation, and a special connection with you.

The question is, what should you give? It can be hard to know what a divorcing person would appreciate, especially if you have not gone through the ordeal yourself. 

Here are 10 divorce gift ideas (plus a few extras) for the special someone in your life who needs divorce support. Some of these gifts focus on getting them through the divorce process itself; others help them kick off life after divorce.

1. Spa day gift certificate

Click the link above, and you’ll find a blank template for a printable spa day gift certificate for your friend. This is just one of many blank gift certificates you can find online. What a fun way to give your friend an experience gift that means something!

A relaxing massage, refreshing mani/pedi, or luxurious facial could be just what your friend needs to feel stronger, whether they’re reeling from the shock of getting served or calming their jitters on the eve of a court date.

If you'd rather not print out your own gift certificate, consider picking one up from a local business. A 15-minute foot massage, maybe, or an hour-long full-body massage at their favorite spa. If they’re not into rubdowns, consider a gift certificate for a manicure, pedicure, or both. Every time your friend looks down at their nails, they’ll feel good about what they see, and they’ll think of you.

2. Symbolic sapling

If your friend has a green thumb, they might appreciate the symbolism of a plantable tree. Present them with a sapling – or even just a seed – and offer to help them plant it in a significant place. (This might not be the right gift if they haven’t moved out of their marital home yet … but it may be the perfect gift if they’ve just moved into their new place.)

You could pick this gift up around the corner at your local home improvement store, or you could special-order something ultra-symbolic – like an evergreen or fruit-bearing tree – from a place like the Arbor Day Foundation. 

Before you buy a sapling for your friend to plant, determine the hardiness zone of your intended tree, and make sure it matches your friend’s location.

The symbolic possibilities

Did you know trees have symbolic meanings? You might want to choose a tree for your friend based on what it symbolizes. Here are a few ideas.

• A willow tree symbolizes adaptability and survival through life’s hardships.
• A blue pine tree symbolizes long life or immortality as well as regeneration.
• A fruit tree or bush symbolizes a future full of health, prosperity, and happiness.
• A lavender shrub symbolizes peace, grace, and calm.

What's after divorce? 

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3. Coloring cure 

Okay, so a coloring book is not an actual cure for heartache … but coloring probably made your friend’s heart smile when they were a kid, and we think one of these adult coloring books might bring a smile to their face now:

• Have a Nice Life Asshole: Breakup Stress Reliever Adult Coloring Book 
• I Used to Be Married, But I’m Much Better Now
• Recover from the Narcissist: Color to Cope

P.S. Don’t forget the box of crayons!

Related: Journaling to Cope with Divorce

4. Dammit Doll

You can find all sorts of stress-relieving toys on today’s market, from squishy hand toys to fidget spinners. And then, there’s the Dammit Doll. This handmade 12-inch token fits nicely in the hand … and whacks nicely against any counter, wall, or piece of furniture your friend’s heart desires.

We couldn’t resist including this grabbable, slammable stuffed polyester doll, available in a huge range of styles and colors, on our list. 

A squishy alternative

Also, don’t miss this stress-relieving squishy for the friend who may be prone to wringing their hands. Squishies today come in many forms, from cute round stress balls to this hilarious stress banana. You don’t have to look too hard to find squishy toys these days … they’re likely also available in your neighborhood grocery store toy aisle.

5. Rage room gift certificate

If your divorcing friend has rage, we've got a room for them!

Yes, rage rooms are real. Perhaps the first (documented) rage room was The Venting Place in Tokyo in 2008. You can buy your friend a gift certificate for 45 minutes or so in a rage room where they use provided tools (axes and such) to destroy stuff: dishes, appliances, electronics, and in some cases, cars. 

Make sure you book with a place that includes safety gear (hard hat, safety gloves, goggles) … and consider going with them if you’d like to do a little raging yourself.

Are rage rooms healthy?

While some people believe rage rooms support the catharsis theory that venting anger and frustration relieve these feelings, research to the contrary also exists. This research suggests that using violence to express anger does not actually relieve the anger, but it may actually stoke its fires.

Please note that using a Dammit Doll, a rage room, or any other type of physical, aggressive expression is not a substitute for medically sound therapy in the face of a huge life stressor like divorce.

6. Food gift card

During a divorce, some people are short on cash. Some are short on time. Almost all are short on sleep. Conclusion: Your friend probably doesn’t feel like buying groceries or cooking right now.

But you want your buddy to stay healthy and nourished, right? If you know which restaurant they love, slip a gift card into an envelope and slide it into their mailbox. If you’re unsure what they’re hungry for, a gift card from a delivery service like GrubHub, DoorDash, or Uber Eats is bound to hit the spot.

7. Funny divorce gift

Sometimes, you just have to laugh.

It’s not that divorce is funny. It’s not that your friend has enjoyed this ordeal … but seeing the humor in it may help dissolve some of their tension.

A funny divorce gift could take many forms. Search for “funny divorce gifts” on the internet, and you’ll find thousands of options. We like a lot of the choices found on Etsy (see the link above) because, well, a lot of them made us giggle.

8. Movie membership 

Does your friend love to escape to the movies? Buy them a three-month, six-month, or annual membership to a cinema in their area. They can sneak away for a “mini vacation” at the movies every once in a while.

In fact, have you ever heard of cinema therapy? It’s an actual thing, and some therapists use it to help their clients gain hope or achieve emotional catharsis. We’re not saying you can heal your friend with movies … but we are saying that we think they’d appreciate – and benefit from – the chance to enjoy some great cinema escapes while avoiding expensive movie tickets for a while.

With Regal Unlimited, your friend can see as many movies at any Regal Cinema they choose. If you don’t have Regal Cinemas in your area, check out similar offerings from AMC and Cinemark, 

Is your friend too busy to go to the movies? What about a Netflix gift card instead? Or, if music is more their style, a Spotify gift card may be just the thing.

9. Monthly self-care subscription

Considering everything that’s going on in your friend’s life, they may forget to take care of themselves. You, good buddy, have an opportunity to remind them to take good care – again and again – through a monthly subscription box like the TheraBox from Cratejoy. With this particular service, your friend receives a monthly self-care box full of fun products for the number of months you choose to gift them.

Cratejoy is not the only business that There’s an IPSY monthly makeup box, a monthly CalmBox, a Harry & David Wine & Cheese Pairing Club (which you may or may not consider to be self-care), and oh-so-many more. All it takes is a simple internet search.

10. Vacation

This gift would require serious planning, and it’s not for everyone – but if your friend loves to travel and you love to travel, why not take a little vacay together?

The two of you might escape for a weekend to a cabin in the woods through a vacation rental company like Airbnb or Vrbo. You might find a vacation package through an online travel agency like Booking.com or low-fare plane tickets through Skyscanner.com, a metasearch engine for cheap flights and other vacation deals. 

Maybe you’ll even decide to corral more of the gang – work friends, school chums, family members – and take the trip of a lifetime in honor of your divorcing friend. 

Acts of service

Your gift doesn’t have to cost money. In fact, a lot of us can’t afford to send our friends to the spa or on vacation these days … but we can take a little time out to perform an act of service that brightens their day. 

Provide a service they dread, don’t have time for, or can’t afford

Who has time for mowing the lawn, cleaning the toilet, or getting the oil changed when there’s a divorce going on?

Your friend probably doesn’t. This is why a homemade gift certificate for a mundane, soul-sucking chore like mowing the lawn, washing the car, or vacuuming can mean so much. 

What daily duty does your friend hate the most? If it’s vacuuming, give them a handwritten card promising to come over and clean their carpets. Afterward, the two of you might sip on beverages and chat (read: let them vent) for a while. If it’s cleaning the toilet, show up at their door with a plunger and scrub brush. It’ll give both of you a laugh, and it’ll leave an indelible imprint in their mind of the way you love and care for them.

At Hello Divorce, we’ve noticed that many of our clients have friends who desperately want to help but don’t know how. We get that. You want to support your friend during divorce, but you don’t want to intrude. You want to help, but you don’t want to push. 

In fact, one of our most popular articles of all time is called The Good Friend’s Guide to Helping a Friend during Divorce. We think that’s pretty special – it says a lot not only about our clients but also about the friends of our clients – the support and love out there in this world.

A note for the one getting divorced

If you’re reading this and you’re the one getting divorced, we’d like to take this opportunity to invite you to treat yourself.

We’re not necessarily saying you should book a cruise for yourself and five best friends right now. What we’re saying is this: Be good to yourself. Now more than ever, you need it. Yes, your friends want to help. But you are your own best friend, and you know what’s best for you at this time.

Hello Divorce wants to help. We’ve worked hard to put together some awesome low-cost divorce plans and a la carte legal services for our clients. And, we’ve curated a treasure trove of free resources you can read now, as you move through the stages of divorce and on to your next beautiful chapter.

In the spirit of nurturing yourself, we invite you to stay, look around, and read:

• Best Books to Help You Throughout Your Divorce
• 12 Self-Care Gifts
• Best Ways to Tell Family and Friends You’re Getting Divorced
• Uplifting Quotes About Moving On After Divorce
• Worksheet: Create Your Self-Care Plan

References