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How to Turn Your Breakup Into a Positive Breakthrough

I founded Hello Divorce as a result of my own adversity. When I think about it now, I am convinced that all that we have in life is the capacity to turn obstacles into opportunities – breakups into breakthroughs.

My desire to become a lawyer was birthed out of a disempowering and lonely experience I had with the legal system as a late teen. I was both a witness in a criminal action case and a plaintiff in a civil case. As a young woman, I felt overwhelmed, scared, and powerless in my attempts to navigate the law while honoring my emotional well-being throughout the legal process. This moment in my life was pivotal, as it became clear that I never wanted anyone to feel the way that I felt. In a system that prides itself on delivering justice – the entire experience felt unjust.

As a divorce lawyer and the owner a family law group, I was given the chance every day to use adversity as an opportunity to support others in their growth. I am obsessed with the human story and deeply understand how utterly lonely and desperate it feels to be in crisis.

I, too, have been on my knees, praying that I'd survive the day and hoping that tomorrow would be better. I deeply appreciate my life as a lawyer and my ever-growing practice – but I know there is more to the work I am meant to do in the world.

I created Hello Divorce after working 16+ years as a lawyer in a system that I loathed. I knew that changing a complicated system overnight was not an option, but I also trusted that the way my team approaches the divorce process – and how we navigate through it together – can change the experience of divorce itself. Unfortunately, as a lawyer, there was only so much I could do from the inside. Once spouses get caught in the system, lawyers often take over and prove their value by "winning." But a win for one spouse often means a loss for the other - and worse, for the entire family. So the plot to my life story changed when I left my lucrative job to start from scratch and rebuild a divorce experience that lets spouses opt out of the system altogether and reorganize their lives in a way that makes the most sense for them and their kids. 

Hello Divorce is a platform that provides an easier, kinder and more affordable pathway to divorce. We believe that the lawyer-up and fight model is wildly outdated, inefficient and unreasonably expensive. It breads fear, distrust and toxicity instead of fostering community, self-awareness and well-being. Our model combines easy-to-use digital tools with expert legal and financial services (as needed) so that everyone has the exact support they need throughout the entire divorce journey without spending $1000s. Instead of pitting spouse against spouse, we foster cooperation and focus on resolution so customers can save money, avoid missteps and plan for a better next chapter.

I'm not under any illusion that divorce is without conflict or pain. Nothing about ending a marriage is easy. Divorce is never the easy way out. But I do trust that the way we approach divorce can help ease fear, anger and overwhelm - and in doing so we make space to focus on our future instead of everything that went wrong in our relationship. 

As Hello Divorce continues to expand into new states, we also continue to dive deeper into the divorce ecosystem, helping everyone avoid the common pain points that we experience in this life transformation by providing transparent tools, calculators, resources and curated solutions to everything from creating a path to financial independence to reclaiming your whole self.  This intersection is where my professional expertise meets my personal interests – where my head aligns with my heart.

Hello Divorce aims to help everyone understand how you can fall out of the relationship but still hold heartful integrity. We live in a culture that inundates us with fear-based messages. Messages that tell us that we are broken and need to be fixed. Messages that tell us we are defined by our circumstances rather than our state of being in the world. This is no less true when it comes to divorce. We call bullshit.

The truth is: you are not your divorce – your divorce is simply where you are at right now. Divorce is not a failure. You are not a failure. You are not broken and you don't need to be fixed.

I may have had the idea but this team makes it a reality.

I can take very little credit for where we are today. We have a wildly talented, mission-driven team that climbs with intention. Every single one of us – from designers and editors to financial analysts and lawyers – believes it is possible to do well and do good. We believe that you thrive when you are both challenged and supported to do your best work. This is how you achieve long-term results. 

We reject the principle that marriage is good and divorce is bad. We don't believe that our relationship status determines our worth or character. What's important is our experience along the way - what we learn, who we become, and how we show up in life and love.

If you would like to learn how we can help you through divorce, schedule a 15 minute call here.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Founder, CEO & Certified Family Law Specialist
Mediation, Divorce Strategy, Divorce Insights, Legal Insights
After over a decade of experience as a Certified Family Law Specialist, Mediator and law firm owner, Erin was fed up with the inefficient and adversarial “divorce corp” industry and set out to transform how consumers navigate divorce - starting with the legal process. By automating the court bureaucracy and integrating expert support along the way, Hello Divorce levels the playing field between spouses so that they can sort things out fairly and avoid missteps. Her access to justice work has been recognized by the legal industry and beyond, with awards and recognition from the likes of Women Founders Network, TechCrunch, Vice, Forbes, American Bar Association and the Pro Bono Leadership award from Congresswoman Barbara Lee. Erin lives in California with her husband and two children, and is famously terrible at board games.